What Took You So Long, Dear?



I had an awesome day last Sunday with my housemates Shasha and Ja. Guess what, for the first time in my entire life, I went to the PWTC book fair. =p

Ja was fully utilising her time while waiting for us

Shasha was patiently waiting for the drawing to finish

I didn’t spend much, I only bought few exercise books for my tuition class and a ‘Solusi’ magazine edition 31 (RM1 cheaper than the normal price). And then Shasha and I went to this booth where there were 2 cartoonists offering their services to draw pictures of yourself. Hehe. So we waited there for almost 1 hour for our turns. Tired we were, but it was worth the waiting. =)

Enough about the book fair story, in today’s post I’d like to share an article in this month’s ‘Solusi’ magazine. It is written by Dato’ Dr Hj Mohd Fadzillah Kamsah. But first, I’d like to start off with a situation:

The perfect Aminah

Aminah is a very beautiful girl. Her voice could make all guys melt. Her body figure is everyman’s dream. She has a very good people skill that can influence everyone she meets. With her capability of managing her emotional and physical constraints, she is somewhat a typical ‘dream girl’ for almost everyman in this world.

Aminah has been in few love relationships but none of them worked out. She started to wonder, is she not beautiful enough to win a guy’s heart? Is she not having the quality of being a wife to someone? Why do the relationships she had never last?

What Aminah hasn’t realize all this while is, for her to be in a long lasting relationship (that brings to marriage, of course) is not just based on what the heart says. It is not as easy as just to grab any other guys that she met or that she has known for just less than 24 hours to be her lover.

The perfect Aminah never realize that it takes effort to find a guy that at least 60% aligns with her needs and interests. It takes hard work to figure out whether a guy really at least 50% understands her. It takes sincere prayer & ‘tawakkal’ to Allah to ‘give’ her a guy that would be strong enough to guide and prepare her for the afterlife.

Do Not Define It As Being Choosy Or Picky.

Well, for guys who are reading this, please do not get me wrong. I am just creating an ideal situation. It may also happen to a guy who hasn’t yet found the ONE to be with him for the rest of his life. Of course this rarely happens in daily lives. A perfect girl like Aminah can only be found in novels, I presume. But like I have said before, let’s think of an ideal perfect girl like Aminah. =)

Dato’ Dr thinks that there are few steps that we may want to do after we’re certain of our set of requirements that we’ve made. Of course, this does not only apply to those who think that they’re my ‘imiginary Aminah’, it applies to all, no matter what your gender is, how you look like and etc.

So here you go:

1. Pray fervently and exert accurately

It is Allah who decides who our mates are, but we have the right to make an effort to find one, with the permitted shari’a. Although we have prayed hard, it is still not granted, do not give up, as Prophet Muhammad once said: “Indeed a person’s prayer will not be spared from 3 things: the sins are forgiven, the prayer is granted in accordance with the request, and sometimes the prayer is not being not granted but being delayed instead”

2. Observe the people around you

Everyone will have mates that Allah has promised. Believe it or not, she or he might be the one who is actually close to you. Who has known you for years maybe? =)

3. Do not easily give up

Those who despair of finding a mate will start to make out many impressions. It could bad or good. Whatever it is, never stop having faith in Allah.

4. Fill the heart with particular prayers

Here Dato’ Dr has stressed that prayers can become bulwarks to the heart. Either it is ‘Istikharah’ or other normal prayers that we do, let us do it properly, and not just for the reason of we’re forced to do it.

5. Love all the people around you

A loving person will have the power to attract other people to love him. Love as in love towards our own brothers & sisters in Islam are something that we need to practice in our daily lives. Do not focus in finding the mate here, but let’s hope that at least we are portraying what Islam wants us to portray..=)

6. Purify the heart

Do not let resentment and jealousy conquer your heart. Everything happens for reasons; things that are beyond us as a human being to foresee.

7. Always ready to meet your ‘mate’ at any time

Dress well everywhere you go. Possess good mannerism in everything you do. Always put trust in Allah.

8. Try to be the features of what a man and a woman would dream of

Improve all the weaknesses and try to be grateful and consistent with what that have been conferred by Allah.

So this is what I can summarize based on my understandings. If you want to know more, go and buy you a copy of ‘Solusi’. You won’t regret. =)

“O Causer of the Causes; O He who opens the doors (to opportunities); O’ He who gives an answer to the call from wherever (He is called).” Ameen.

What Does the word 'Perfect' Actually Means?

*I salute Steve Jobs*

There was a fat, short girl once said "I am not beautiful. No guy in his right mind would want to date me or even look at me."

Okay. Maybe this is a bad intro for today's post. I'll try with this one:

There was a pretty, fair lady once came to me and said "I'm driving a Prius now. I earn 6 figures per month. I took music class; I do spa and saloon every week and have travelled almost all around the world. All guys would kneeled at me and beg to marry me. Oh yes, have I told you that I am only 28 years old?"

The Perfect Is The Enemy Of The Good.

I am a very observant girl. I can see flaws from others very quickly, and their perfections as well. But luckily I am not a judgmental person. Maybe that’s why I am not bothered with people with bad a taste of fashion, their childish way of thinking and even the way they control their emotions. No, I am not bothered with you, as long as you’re not affecting me. Full stop.

There is this one girl in my office, a consultant from Australia (well she’s actually a Malaysian) who seems to be very effective in delivering her work in a timely manner. She leads the Change Management team in my department where its basis of work is making sure all engagements within the stakeholders are happening smoothly and ensuring our intention of transforming the institution for the better is well delivered. She’s very active and is always a positive thinker. I asked her one day “Hey, do you mind if I ask, how you actually manage the people you meet every day, with different characters and needs? I can see that you’re always smiling and can handle pressure very well.”

“Well, everyone is not perfect.” she smiled and me. “You’ll learn and get more matured as you grow. But with one condition: take failures as something good and eager to improve from the mistakes you’ve done. Hunger for knowledge, thirst for new things.”

As cliché as it sounded, I have to agree with her. Everyone is facing their own challenges. But as time goes by, we grow to be more matured that we have never been before.

I read an article on how to control perfectionism and here are the simple steps that I have summarized based on my understanding:

1. Forgive yourself for your short comings: If you can’t deliver as people expected you to, don’t blame yourself too much. Keep telling yourself that it’s okay; there is still room for improvement.

2. Focus on what is really needed: It there really a need to spend thousands of RM to do plastic surgery just to get your dream guy’s attention? Is there really a need to be so perfect that you need to miss your timeline? Wise people will not think perfect, they think smart.

3. Results VS Judgments: Don’t let others judgments affect your results. Study to learn, not just getting perfect score, exercises for health, not just to lose weight. A perfectionist always concern with others who perceive imperfection. That is bad.

Being Imperfect is Okay. It Is Sometimes A Beauty.

A rough, ugly oyster has a pearl inside it. An old mango can be a seed when it falls on the ground. A heavy rain gives lives to crops.

A perfect thing for you, may not be perfect for me. It carries different definitions to different people. So does the definition matters anymore?

Dear friends, find the beauty of the imperfections in you. =’)